


Errands

by Novantinuum (ChromaticDreams)



Series: Brandishing the Star: A Crystal Gem's Guide to the Universe (SU shorts) [18]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fainting, Gen, Set sometime post Snow Day, Steven Universe Future, featuring steven’s A+ life choices, jasper truly does care she’s just gruff in how she shows it, please stop overloading yourself my good lad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-20 07:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromaticDreams/pseuds/Novantinuum
Summary: Steven has an endless stream of items on his to-do list, so many that he often forgets to properly take care of himself in between.Sneaking off into the woods on the daily to vent out his repressed emotions is merely one of them.
Relationships: Jasper & Steven Universe
Series: Brandishing the Star: A Crystal Gem's Guide to the Universe (SU shorts) [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1491011
Comments: 10
Kudos: 229





	Errands

‘Running errands.’

As far as the Gems know, that’s all he’s busying himself with when he dutifully wakes up every morning just past seven and throws himself out the door before the clock can even hit the half hour. He never elaborates on his whereabouts. To be fair though, they never pry further. Ever since that snow day a few weeks back— even if they had a bit of a heart-to-heart in the end— Steven has the niggling feeling that they now silently worry about butting into his personal life too much these days. It’s pretty obvious. He may be super busy, but he’s not blind to their new dynamics. Simply put, their greatest nightmares now stand in blunt contrast. He fears the future where the shadow of the past sinks its thorns into his flesh like untamed brambles, and they fear the future where the memories of that happy-go-lucky boy they once cared for slips further and further away from their grasp.

It’s much too late to harbor fears like  _that,_ of course. He can swear on this with certainty.

The ‘sweet, innocent little Steven’ they can’t help but miss is long gone.

(He just wishes they cared half as much as they do now when he was twelve— lonely and desperate for their doting attention. Stars. The irony of how far the tables have turned a mere five years later nearly makes his chest twist. He would’ve given up everything for this sort of treatment once upon a time, and ever since it’s become the present he lives,  _now_ his heart is suddenly cold to it??)

But anyways! Forget all that. Forget stress, forget the Gems, forget the past, forget the finer details of his packed schedule for today. Think about driving instead. Good ol’ reliable driving, eh? He squints in his early morning exhaustion, flicking on his blinker with shaking fingers as he makes a quick right into the convenience store parking lot at the edge of town. He knows exactly what he’s here for.

_Errands,_ he thinks with a soft laugh, the corner of his lip curving up.

His stomach rumbles as he dutifully parks the car and drags himself out of the driver’s seat. He takes a brief pause to stretch out his hands, vying to stop their quivering in its tracks. He woke up like this, sadly— all jittery. He’s not sure why. Once he’s satisfied he fishes his keys from his jacket pocket. Like clockwork, he locks the Dondai up, pokes around in the convenience store for a minute or two so he can have plausible deniability, and then swiftly disappears into the thickets of the nearby Beach City woods. 

It’s quite a hike from the edge of humanity’s reach to his destination, but most days he genuinely doesn’t mind the exercise. It’s meditative. Good for the body  _and_ mind. Plus, the path is chock full of natural beauty, too. The rolling hills are especially striking in the height of fall, when the leaves turn molten red and orange and make the whole tree canopy look as if it’s on fire.

Today, however... on this humdrum, slow-moving winter day...

Today he’s only hiked two miles and he’s already beat.

He gasps as he doubles over near the base of the last hill, hands on his knees.  “Work with me,” he huffs between breaths, “you... stupid... legs!”

His mouth feels as dry and tasteless as stale bread. As abrasive as sandpaper. It sucks, but he supposes it’s his own fault for not hydrating like he should.  Or for not consuming the appropriate levels of nutrients one needs to start their day. Geeze, he really wishes he remembered to tote along his canteen. He made a protein shake this morning like he always does, but left it sitting out on the counter after hunting down his sandals. Serves him right for getting distracted.

Oh well. What’s new? Somewhere along the line, for some misdeed he’s done, he’s sure he deserves the hunger.

After taking a moment’s rest he grinds his teeth, pushes through his exhaustion, and keeps moving forward. Twigs and fallen pinecones snap underfoot as he progresses up the familiar trail. Flying in the boughs above are the cardinals, their stark red feathers standing out against the backdrop of barren limbs and pine needles. Stunning creatures, they are. Sadly, while on other mornings he may slow his pace to admire the harmony of the living, breathing Earth around him, today is not the day. With his delays he’s absolutely behind schedule.His only hope now is to get this little ‘errand’ over with in record time so he can get back on track with today’s extensive to-do list.

Let’s see... there’s the kiss-it-better clinic, then the one-on-one meeting with White Diamond regarding the tumultuous state of the Crystal System worlds, then his class, then some time to work on all those third quarter evaluations he keeps putting off, then baseball practice with the quartzes, then the lil’ get-together with Lars and all his Gem friends... Oh geeze, he’s probably forgetting a few things in between. That’s what really yanks at his horns, so to speak: the idea that even  with such extensive task keeping, there’s something imperative he’s forgotten.

Steven shivers as he reaches the top of the last hill, pulling his pink wool jacket ever tighter around himself. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly feeling so cold. It’s almost March, after all. And besides that cold spell back in early January where it snowed, the weather has remained rather neutral here in Beach City. But eh, no matter. He’ll warm up soon enough when he’s swinging punches.

Dutifully ignoring his growling stomach and the rapidly spreading exhaustion in his bones, he crosses the stark boundary between organic life and stony desolation, entering the territory of his uneasy ally. (For now.) He doesn’t consciously take notice of the shift this time around, but his skin and hair already glow a slight pink.

_“HEY!”_ he calls in a full-bodied shout, and smashes his sandaled foot to the ground so hard that the clay cracks and buckles under his force. Behind him, a few weakened branches snap and collapse to the forest floor.

This display is nothing more than a cocky show of force— careless, purposeless destruction— and met with any other onlookers his stomach would no doubt twist in guilt, but in his present company he can’t help but let himself revel in the physical rush such a release of repressed energy brings. The feeling is  _almost_ intoxicating, sickeningly so, dimly vibrating throughout his entire body from the diamond gemstone at the core of his being all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes. He used to ask himself when he was younger and far more naive why Lapis found it so hard to restrain her true power when acclimating to life on Earth, but now he intimately understands why. That sort of rush... the knowledge that you have the ability to reshape the face of the world around you at your slightest whim if you so please... it’s hard to resist. Even for someone as moral-driven as him.

But never mind all of that now. He’ll heal any damage he sows later.

Speaking in a tone that’s lower but every bit as firm, he slowly approaches the cave.

“I’m here. Come on out.”

“You’re late,” her haughty voice echoes from within the walls of her stony abode, sounding board. “Finally forget we had an arrangement,  _my diamond?”_

He narrows his eyes at Jasper’s brazenly mocking attitude. “I—“ big yawn— “I really don’t have time for the commentary, okay? I’m ready. So let’s just get right to it.”

Inhaling deep, Steven lowers himself on his haunches like always. Clenches his hands into fists. Readies his mind and body for another all-out brawl. He breathes out through his parted lips nice and slow, feeling the air shakily leave his lungs. Perfectly balanced. Never mind how dizzy he suddenly feels, never mind the fact his stomach is probably close to digesting itself in its current ravenous state. He’s gotta be vigilant. At any moment, Jasper will surely saunter out of her cave and join the fray. She has to.

Or... hmm.

There’s no visible movement from between the cracks of the cave’s thick curtain. All is still. Suspiciously so.

He takes a handful of steps towards her abode. “Jasper?” Frost hardened mud crunches under his weight. His heart pounds double time, his hands jittery as they drop to his sides. “I said I’m ready!”

“Pah,” she spits from within her domain. “I’m not bending my every will to the whims of some self-righteous prick like you. Waste my time, I waste yours.”

And in a flash, he’s nearly boiling with pink, skin glowing with a heightened intensity. His stomach turns. His brow weaves tight with indignant anger. He- shards, who does she think she is, speaking about him in that way?? He’s not just some... some—!

Rendered blind to his own tumultuous emotions, Steven grinds his teeth, letting out a frustrated growl from deep in his sandpaper dry throat.

“Damnit, stop cowering inside your cave and  _fight_ me!”

The force of his impassioned words carry a shockwave. Spiderweb cracks fragment the blunt face of Jasper’s hideaway, but no stones fall. Feeling more and more faint as the moments surge onwards,  _(thisiswrongthisiswrongthisiswrongwrongwrongwro—)_ he stumbles forward, heaving for but a lungful of air.

Something... is seriously not okay. Distantly he knows this,  knows from the churning of his empty stomach and the never-ceasing shudder of his limbs that his absentminded denial of nutrients is to blame, but a stubborn part of him chokes this truth out. Feigns ignorance. He’s fine.

He’s fine, he’s fine... he’s  _fine._ He swears he’s fine.

(He’s tired he’s tired  _oh gosh_ is he tired and spent to the bone-)

His body... stars, his body feels so heavy now.... and eyelids... a weight as dense as lead threatens to close that last window...

A blur of orange dances across his narrow field of vision, electrifying what little awareness he has left to action.

Listing to the side precariously, he takes one wide swing.

Miss.

Two swings.

His knuckles smash straight into stone.

The world is but a kaleidoscope...

And with nothing more but a soft moan born from his lips, the burden he‘s been carrying square upon his shoulders finally becomes too heavy to bear alone.

(His barred fists are no longer pink by the time his unconscious body hits the ground.)

* * *

“Steven.”

His nose twitches as he comes to. Behind his temples roars a splitting headache, pulsing in time with the famished churning of his stomach. He doesn’t even have to move to know there’s no strength left in his overworked body. Geeze, it’s been a while since a fight left him hurting this much, what on Earth happened? 

“Steven...”

Wait a minute. Is... is someone  _calling_ him?

He groans, popping his shoulders as he rotates them behind, and arches his back against hard, cold stone. His eyes remain clamped shut, the weight of his exhaustion holding them hostage. Normally he’d expect faint blurs of light to flicker across the insides of his eyelids, but as of now he sees nothing. No light, no glow of pink. Just the thorny embrace of the dark.

Is this... is he in Jasper’s home? In her cave? He’s not sure why he would be— since normally she‘d shatter before she willingly let him enter her territory like this— but it’s the only explanation that makes sense with the sensory input he’s receiving.

But eh, forget it. He’s so tired. He just... wants to sleep... a little while longer...

_“Steven!”_ she hollers.

He snaps to attention, shooting upright faster than Amethyst can summon her whip. His heart’s pounding double time as he squints at the orange and green spotted mass looming above him.

“Ja- Jasper?” he asks shakily, throat raw.

Her eyes narrow at him. Despite her attempts at guarding her expression, the disappointment inscribed across her darkened features is palpable. For a split second the ferocity in her gaze is almost enough to make Steven lose sight of the past six months, of the shaky camaraderie they’ve built up over that time. (If one could call their battle pact “camaraderie,” of course.) 

Almost. 

Carefully regarding his blank stare, she turns up the corner of her lip in a sneer. “Get up. We’re done for today.”

“But—“ He grunts, shifting onto his knees to push himself up. All the while, he takes quick inventory of his body: drained as all get out, but he feels no obvious scratches, no bruises, and no breaks. Whatever left him in this state couldn’t have come external. His brows crease. “Wait, hold on a minute, what happened?”

His sparring partner leans back against the wall of her cave. Leisurely crossing her arms, she blows a shallow huff, pointedly taking her own sweet time in responding.

“You’re clearly not ready to engage right now. You’re exhausted, pale, and delirious.”

He scoffs. “Whaaat? No, I’m not!” Weakly laughing, he scratches at the nape of his neck. “It’s just... cold outside. That’s it.”

And at those very words, the mighty rumbling of his stomach betrays him like a knife to the back. He rocks on the balls of his feet as he rides through the painful sensation, nervously biting at the inside of his lip.

Jasper stares blankly at him, utterly unconvinced by his prior words.

“Come on, this isn’t a problem!” he insists, knowing full well he’s lying through his teeth. “I’m fine!”

“You crawled to my cave half asleep, gave two wussy swings, and passed out at my feet in a dead faint.”

Steven flushes at the accusation.  _“Okay,_ okay, so maybe this is a problem. I- I just—“ he lets out a long, shame filled sigh, pressing his hands to either side of his aching head— “forgot to eat this morning, okay! And, uh... maybe yesterday morning too. And the day before that...”

She searches his face, her amber eyes piercing right through the diamond mask he hides his honest, most authentic self underneath.

“Did you?” she asks pointedly. “Did you really? Or is this yet another punishment to yourself?”

The blow strikes him at the core, dead center.

For once, he’s left speechless. His chest tightens at the thought. The fact that he can’t bring himself to meet her eyes is merely the final tell— the very proof he needs to know he can’t talk himself out of this one. He swallows, the motion feeling like a stone settling wrong in his dry throat.

Pulling her careful gaze away, she counters around him, continuing her address.

“Listen. You’re absolutely worthless to me like this. If you ever show up in this state again, you can forget our little arrangement! I’m not fighting someone who can barely stand.”

His eyes shoot open wide, growing glossy.

_No...!_

He can’t lose this outlet! He can’t! Their arrangement has done wonders for his emotional control, allowing him a space to fully vent his frustrations without anyone else having to see him like this. And best of all, Jasper doesn’t judge his reckless displays of anger. She doesn’t smother him. And she certainly doesn’t nose into his personal business like so many other people in his life can’t help but do. She’s a perfectly compartmentalized acquaintance, distant from the rest of his world. Exactly what he needs.

Biting back the threat of tears, he breathes deep, regaining his wits.

“I... I’m sorry,” he says as evenly as possible. “It won’t happen again.”

“I don’t need your  _apologies!”_ Jasper spits. “I need your strength. Now, scram!” She jabs her pointer finger towards the exit of her home. “Get out of here. Go consume some puny green Earthling, or whatever it is you  _‘vegetarians’_ do.”

And with that, she turns on a dime and stalks to the back of her cave.

Steven rolls his eyes, but can’t help but feel a faint rush of satisfaction at the fact that Jasper actually cared to remember one of the few off-topic things he mentioned during a previous meeting. Specifically, his recent shift in diet.  _ At least  someone _ _is listening to me,_ he thinks.

Pulling his jacket tighter around him in preparation for the cold, he begins to make his way for the light, his legs shaking under him. Stars, her makeshift house is dark.

He’s standing in the doorway by the curtain when he pauses, with more get off his chest. Promises to himself that he wants to speak into existence... gain accountability on.

“I think... I’m gonna take tomorrow off,” he says, figuring he can worry about how to reschedule everything later. “Get some rest an’ all, y’know? And some real breakfast. Maybe I’ll cook up some eggs for once. Haven’t had eggs in a while.”

The old soldier grunts at his babbling, not even turning her head to fully acknowledge him.

He rocks on his heels. “So... See you Saturday?”

“You know where I’ll be.”

“‘Course,” he nods. “Oh, and—“

The half-Gem considers his next words for what is— considerably, for him— a very long while. He and Jasper have shared an interesting history, that’s for sure. She nearly killed him on multiple occasions, and was an instrumental piece in the genesis of his whole mom-shaped identity crisis. She’s hurt him in the past, yes. The vigilant part of him will always have to be weary of that. But as of late, she’s also grown into a trusted confidant. A worthy sparring partner. Someone who will push him to his limits but knows exactly when to pull back and make him walk away. 

Perhaps one day he can even call her a friend.

“Thanks,” he says.

She turns her head, her confused gaze just as pointed as the horns crowning her head. “For  _what?”_

In return, he shoots her a smile. It’s not very wide, and with his recent surplus of stress in mind it’s certainly not long lasting, but it  is genuine.

(Anyone who stays by someone’s side while they’re unconscious deserves as such.)

“For looking after me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! Please do not give spoilers for Little Graduation or Prickly Pair in the comments- I have not seen them yet and will not be able to for a week.
> 
> Anyways, loving SUF so far. I need to get back in the fic writing game. Steven and Jasper probably don’t have the healthiest dynamic here, but they’re both getting something positive out of it at least. Jasper is getting some interaction... and chances to actually care about the wellbeing of another person... and Steven is getting an outlet to vent out all his repressed anger, on top of freeform training for how to exert more control over his pink state. For the moment, it is beneficial overall. It can certainly improve, though.
> 
> I hope they truly do become friends by the end of SUF.


End file.
